23:00 Thursday
I have had a few little kittens, venture out from the safety of the warm covered part of the box, into the outer part of the box, where the teddies are. I have just found one trying to climb up the large sunflower, I could see these little eyes peering at me through the orange flower. It made me laugh. Then it started squeaking at me, soooo cute.

Just to clear up, the little one, that I was unsure of last night, is defintely a boy, Rich and I had a good look at him this morning, and he is now looking like the stripes are not going to happen, so I think he is either Chocolate or Caramel, I think more likely Chocolate, as his nose is very dark. So it looks like he is going to be like his daddy. He has a very loud voice !!! And shouts at me loudly when I pick him up. He reminds me of Fluffy, from last year, she used to yell. But now, she is the quietest cat in the house, if not the most naughty!!

10:15 Friday morning
Apologies, but I got side tracked last night, and fell asleep before I had finished writing this! I also forgot to take any photos. But I do have a video clip, which I will attempt to attach later today. So if you come by and have another look, later today or tomorrow, it should be posted here. It takes a while to transfer the files, so it is easier if I tell you it will be along later.

I confess also, that I have only just woken up. I enjoyed having a lay in this morning, enjoying the last day of the boys half term. So I have not ventured out of my room. Rich has fed the other cats, and Lil has been patiently sitting with her babies, coming out to give me a little purr from time to time. I am going to miss her when she moves out of the room.

As I look into the box, I can see the little ones, rolling around playfully. They are showing little signs of play amongst themselves now, and there is a little squeak as one tries to find the milk source from mummy, who is not laying on her side and purring.

I am sure my little girl is a Choc Tabby, and Rich has called her 'Rapper Raz'. your reaction to that name is probably the same as mine!!! I was calling her 'Little Razzy' after my darling Razzle, and Rich told me that it was boring. He then decided upon his version. This means it will probably stick, just as Fluffy stuck last year. Rapper Raz, poor little lass with that name, but actually, when you see her waddling and talking to me, it does suit her in a way.

We have chosen, I think another name for one of the little girls, one who is going to join Arwen with Jane and Tim. Not a tolkein name, but the name of the dragon in the book Eragon, the name, Sapphira. I know we had Malika Saffira in the last litter, but this name is spelled differently, and Jane and Tim really liked it.

So we have,
Bombadil/Dilly
Sapphira
Rapper Raz
Merry (Meriadoc)
and one little baby to think of a name for.

Rich and I weighed them last night, and they are growing at a pleasing rate. They are a lovely bunch, really laid back and cuddly. And I can't wait not for them to become more mobile and get into mischief!

Wednesday Night 21:58
Well, my babies have had a quiet day, feeding sleeping, squeaking and having cuddles with both Rich and Tim. My boys can't resist coming in and giving them a cuddle! They are at a very cute stage, where they do respond to your voice. I know that if I go into the box, and chat away, as I do, their little faces will look up, and they will squeak at me. Ohhhh, I love it when they do that! I love it even more when they start to waddle towards me.

And I have had some lovely cuddles, they are getting much more comfortable with being handled. And I love my Lil, if she hears them squealing when I pick them up, she looks, and if she sees that I have them, she goes back to sleep. Ahhhh, she TRUSTS me with these little ones. I kind of feel that we are bringing these up together, I think she sees me as her little helper.

I have been bringing Lil lots of chicken up to eat, and she has just had some Tuna and White Bait, in addition to the James Wellbeloved dry food that she eats. I have to make sure that she is eating plenty, as she is feeding these little ones. She really never leaves their side, and is almost reluctant to go out of the room to use the toilet, but she does prefer the litter trays in the conservatory, and I do like her to go and have a run up and down the stairs. She needs to get some exercise and stretch her legs.

As I look to my left, I can see one little baby, rolling on it's side, and looking up to me, with those oh sooo irresistible red baby eyes. I just spoke to it, and it's little eyes lit up and it rolled on its back, you just have to go and tickle that belly!!! I have just given them all a good check over, looked at all their eyes, tried to be more sure of their colours, defintely a Lilac looking girl there. The larges kitten defintely has a chocolate nose, I still think there is a caramel Tabby girl. The embarrassing thing was, the large boy, was not looking very much like a boy.............he was looking more like a 'she'. It may just be the light and my having tired eyes, I will check them thoroughly again in the morning.

I am tired tonight, and I so must try to get to bed earlier!!! But these little ones are irresistible, and then I have to spend time with the other cats in the house!!

19: 40 Monday evening.
I was struck a few moments ago, by the complete tranquility in the kitten box, the cutest little kitten faces, all snuggled up around their mum. Lil is asleep too, and it has to be an image that transmits so much peace, contentment and trust. Looking at these little babies, and mum, as they are, you realise why you do this, and all the worry and stress of the delivery vanishes into a distant memory.

Lil really hardly leaves the room now, but once the babies are 3 weeks old, I am going to slowly let them be introduced to the rest of the Siamese family. Spending so much time in my room, with Lil, I am missing the others, and I know that they are missing me. They have Rich and Tim in the day now, as they are off school, so that helps. But this quiet bonding time, with Lily and I, is a special time, and one that I will never forget. My house is not big, it is not a palace, and at the moment, it is a tip, but it is so full of love, that it is probably overflowing with richness of another kind.

Richard has been a star today, heaps of cuddles, and he insisted on making me food tonight, and took a lot of time preparing it and making it look nice. His support at this time is invaluable, he really is growing up, and the sensitive, caring side that I am seeing develop, can only stand him well as he grows up. He has had a good cuddle of the kittens too today. I feel kind of safe and secure here today, with my cats and my children.

I am trying harder to discern the colours of these babies. I am almost sure one little girl is going to be lilac, she is a sweet little girl. One is developing stripes, if she turns out to be Chocolate Tabby, she will stay here. The other two, I am not sure of. Merry, the lad out of this bunch, well, I am still hovering on whether or not he is tabby, another week and I will know for sure. But he has such a gentle nature, it is the girls that squeal the most when I pick them up.

The next week, is kind of the calm, before it all starts to happen. At 3 weeks I will be starting to think about weaning them, slowly. And then around 4 weeks, we have the litter trays to introduce. And I still have not ordered that Cat Attract, I will do that next week. That's when the fun begins, and they are running around, and getting into all sorts of mischief!

This litter, I have seen Lily more content than ever before. Only once has she moved a kitten, and after the initial trauma of the birth, she has just seemed so very content. She is a beautiful mother, the day she came to me, I was truly blessed.

Sunday evening
To my right there is such a picture of contentment, mother and 5 babies, all snuggled up together. Lil looks proud and regal as she sits with her babies. As a mother she seems totally content with life. I have had a few cuddles today with kittens, and they are defintely responding to my voice now, when I come into the box and they are active.

To my right there is such a picture of contentment, mother and 5 babies, all snuggled up together. Lil looks proud and regal as she sits with her babies. As a mother she seems totally content with life. I have had a few cuddles today with kittens, and they are defintely responding to my voice now, when I come into the box and they are active.

Monday morning..............
The kittens are great, Lily is great, I have had a lovely cuddle from Gollum, it is half term so I do not have to get up and rush anywhere. I weighed all the babies when I first got out of bed, and was pleased to see good weight gains from all of them. What is really driving me nuts this morning, is that I am trying to transfer across to my lap top, the short video clip that I took yesterday. I can play it back when the camcorder is attached, and it is brilliant. The sound is so good of the little baby squealing, that poor Lily came out of the box to look for it!!!! So I had to shut the volume off. I seem to be saving the file, but then I cannot find it, to play it back, so that I can post it on here. I have been trying for a good hour now, and have, for the moment given up. I am so frustrated at this, because it is a brilliant few seconds. I am equally cross, because I have managed to do this before, with a clip of Lily pregnant, so why can I not do it now!!!

The result of this fruitless enterprise, is that I do not, at the moment, even have any still shots, as I have been focusing on the video clip.

It is half term for us this week, so thankfully I do not have to worry about school runs. But it does mean I have to keep the children occupied also.

Rich was trying to help me with the video clip, but even he failed. He is now downstairs, still in his dressing gown, with a recipe book, telling me that he is going to cook me a meal tonight, this is causing me an element of alarm, as his food hygiene skills can leave a bit to be desired.

So, I am very thankful that Lily and her little ones, are blissfully unaware of the chaos that is going on all around them. I am so fed up with this house not being tidy at the moment, but with Rich and Tim home, on top of everything else, I have no hope this week.

But...........my babies are 2 weeks old!!!! and I am embarrassed to say, that I still have little clue as to their colours. All I can say for sure, is that we have 4 little ladies, and 1 little boy. They are all beautiful, with loud voices. Lily has not tried to move them since, so I have obviously got things right this time, I am chuffed to bits about that.

If I manage to sort out the photographs or video, I will post them later, in the meantime, please be patient with me! I love modern technology, apart from when I can't understand it or make it work!

Today's video clip

09:52 Sunday 18th February.
I am writing this as early as I can in the morning, because my sister and her partner are coming by at midday, and we are 'pruning' the willow tree in my garden. It has grown so large, and it really needs a drastic cut back. Especially now that the cat run, which is being built as I type, is now taking up almost half of the garden. Large willow tree + large cat run, leaves not much room for anything else!!!

This morning, as I attempted to sleep in, I was aware, through my sleepy mind, that there was more noise coming from the kitten quarters, than I had remembered yesterday, or the day before. As I gazed, bleary eyed in their direction, I saw Lil washing them, and put it down to their normal protests at being kept clean. But the squeaking carried on, and they were not going back to sleep like they normally do.........and I couldn't lay there listening to them, incase something was wrong.

I turned over to look at them again, and saw 5 little pairs of red eyes, wobbling on their legs, making their was to the edge of the box.........cute, absolutely........noisy, very, my babies have just discovered there is a world away from mummy.

I got out of bed, and knelt in the box, and spoke to them, in the way that you do speak to kittens, and they spoke back ( well, no spoke, more yelled in kitten voices), they were responding to my voice. I got all excited and had to pick them all up and cuddle them ( more squealing). They are heavenly gorgeous!!!

The other thing I noticed, is that one of the girls is defintely starting to show a stripey tail, and she is looking suspiciously more chocolate than Caramel. Anyone who knows me, will know what excitement that brought to me...but then we thought Carrie was Choc for a while last year, so I am restraining my exitement......The other 3 girls are looking like solid points, one is looking quite lilac at the moment.

The little ( or not so little) boy, well he is showing chocolate colours, and I just cannot decide if the hint of stripes in his tail, are going to develop or not. I took a few video clips of myself, holding one of the babies this morning, and hopefully, I may have time to down load the clip ( it will have to be Monday evening, as my reception facility is not good enough until then), but I am quite excited at being able to share these clips with you now, with my new camera. It is going to be so good when they get mobile and are really running around.

well, I must sign off now, you can probably tell by the tone of the entry today, that I am feeling excited today, I am tired, as I still did not get to bed early enough last night, but I am bouncing around here like a silly girl!!!

The kittens on the other hand, having successfully got me out of bed, have all gone back to sleep............

Saturday 17th February.
My diary is late today, as I actually went out last night, so I, for once, did not sit here all night. It meant that I obviously did not have the time to mail my entry across at the normal time.

Things have not changed much here since I last wrote. Lily spends all her time with the kittens in the box. They are either sleeping or feeding. All their eyes are wide open, and they are growing steadily.

I am almost sure now, that 4 of these kittens are female, and just the one little boy. He is the biggest kitten in the litter, and I am calling him Merry, short for Meriadoc, one of the hobbits. I was looking at him this morning, and I thought I saw the hint of stripes in his tail, but I may be wrong. One of the little girls seems to be looking quite pale, and Lilac in colour. I am not sure about the other 3 at the moment.

I am feeling quite happy and relaxed at the moment, although I could do with more sleep. I cannot blame that on the kittens at the moment, I just need to get myself into bed earlier! But I enjoy the evenings, when everyone else is asleep, and the house is quiet, apart from the cats. It is a special time that we spend together, and it is hard to drag myself a way.

Lily seems to be asking me for something else to eat, so I must go and get her some chicken from downstairs. She has just eaten some biscuits, as they are always out for her, but she is talking to me, and I think the translation means, 'go and get me something else please'...............so, I had better do as asked. I will try to take some photos later, after I have fed her. I am running SOO late with everything today!

20:48 Thursday 15th
I will set the scene. Gollum, Carrie, Fluffy and G are asleep in the beds on the landing. Richard has settled himself in the bed downstairs, he has been sick again, so he is feeling sorry for himself. Tim has settled himself, next to me in my bed, munching choc eggs ( not sensible at bed time!) and Lily and the kittens, are snuggled up, to my left, in their box.

And to be honest that is where she has been all day. She has only left the box for very brief moment, to go to the toilet, to have a drink, and a couple of times to have a run up and down the stairs, and use the scratching posts. She is soooo attached to these babies now, it is touching to see, bless her.

I go and look at the babies a couple of times a day, obviously I don't want to unsettle them too much, they still need the warmth of their mummy, and the constant supply of milk, but I do like to check them over, a couple of times a day. I need to check their eyes are clear and clean, and I need to check their weights, to make sure they are feeding and growing properly. And I want them to be used to being held and cuddled. I just love their little faces, now their eyes are open, when they squeal at me, they are just the cutest!!!!!!!!!

Lil has shown no sign at all of moving the babies. This is really quite an achievement on my part, as she has been a compulsive kitten mover with her other litters. I am assuming this is because I have the design and lay out of the kitten box to her liking!!!! Well, I watched her, tried to learn what she was looking for, and then tried to arrange the place as she might like it. And the beauty of it is, that when I need to move the to the bathroom for litter training, the whole set up will just move into the room. Which reminds me, I must order some Cat Attract Cat litter for that. I don't think I did so well before, with the wood chip, and after doing some research about litter, I think using the Cat Attract, will make the litter training process easier. I really want to get these little ones really good at using their trays, so that they are good kittens when they go to their new homes.

Talking of which, my darling Gollum, has taken to weeing in my bath...........little monkey, fortunately it is easy to clean that up with bleach and a shower!!!

Right, I must try to take a couple of photos now. But it is not easy, as they do not move much, and all the photos seem to be the same at the moment. I may take a couple of them out and try to capture them on their own, but while they are so snug asleep, I don't like to disturb them, so I may wait until later.

I love my babies, I love Lil, and I love the 4 others little, or not so little now, monkeys sleeping on the landing, and of course, Percy in the lounge and bunny in the shed.

18:20 on Wednesday evening.
I have left Lil in my room with Tim, while cooking tea, and attempting to eat it. I know this is really bad habits, but since the kittens have been born, we have not got back into the routine of sitting at the table to eat. This is because I don't like to leave Lil on her own unless I have to. And there are never any complaints from any of the boys if they have the chance to sit with her, watch the television and eat their tea on my bed! The trouble I am having however, is that Gollum is taking a great interest in my food, and does not seem to understand the concept of the word no!!

This morning, saw Lily's first attempt at moving babies........I thought I had got away with it for too long. If you have read any of her previous kitten diaries, you will realise that she is particularly bad at this, and even used to sneak off with some of G's babies last year!

I suspected this move was going to happen, as she had been eyeing up the pile of teddies under my dressing table for a couple of days. When I came back into my bedroom this morning, Lil was standing on my bed yelling at me. I had fed her, so she could not be hungry, but she kept yelling at me. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of a kitten squealing, and it was not coming from the box, it was coming from the pile of teddies under the dressing table. Lil trotted over to it, and looked at me, so I picked it up, and put it back in the box. She leapt in the box after it, and said something to me, which I did not understand, and then settled down with them.

After this I decided that I must get the box extension properly cleaned out, which I did, and I brought it upstairs.

I set it all up, lined with some pampers mattress liners, and I filled it with some teddies, to make it cosier.

We have not had any more babies moved since, but I am sure it wont be the last time. I took some photos of the extension box attached to the smaller box. The kittens do seem to be darkening up in colour quite a lot now, so I am hopeful for some Chocolates. I am even daring to think, that there may even be a stripey tail developing in one. I have dreamt of breeding my own Chocolate Tabby, ever since I lost my darling Razzle.

I am bathing their eyes daily, just to make sure that they stay clean and clear while they open up. Lil does not seem to mind me doing this, although they do, they practice making lots of loud noise!

I am being able to spend more time with the other 4 Siamese in the house now, which is so nice. Carrie and Gollum have been sooo loving and cuddly. It is hard to believe that this time last year, they were at exactly this same stage of development, and just look at them now!

22:05 And the babies are all tucked up for the night. Tim is still in here with me, as he is reluctant to go back to his own room. We have agreed that he will tomorrow night. I know he likes to be close to the kittens, but I do worry at how clingy he is towards me.

lots of little squeaks can be heard in the background, as the kittens arrange themselves around the milk bar.

Outside, on the landing, there is the sound of 4, now adult siamese, chasing around, I will go and give them a cuddle soon!!

16:54 Tuesday afternoon.
My little babies have lots of little red eyes now. Their eyes are red when they first open, and turn blue after a few weeks. And they are waddling around a lot more. We have adapted the kitten box extension, so it wont be long before there is a mass breakout from this box, and I have to add another piece on. I don't want them wandering around my bedroom and getting lost!! They remind me of little hamsters at the moment.

Oh yes, one of them has a name ( although I don't know which baby it will be yet). One little baby, is going to join Smeagle from Lily's very first litter, Lady G's brother. For those of you who have read my diaries from the beginning, you will remember the little lad. He was such a character, and we often talk about him. Well, he is going to get a little sister. And his little sister is going to be called Bombadill, or Dilly for short. ( we have always tried to have names with some link to Tolkein and Lord Of The Rings). Her new mummy chose her name.

I think we might go for one of the hobbits names for the boy that we have, maybe Merry or Pippin. I quite like the name Merry, so it will probably stick! Meriadoc for his Pedigree name.

I was tired today, after a late night last night, and confession time, I slept for 2 1/2 hours after returning from taking Tim to school!!! Lil was happy with her babies, she came to check I was still in the bed a few times, and then hopped back to her kittens. The other 4 were asleep in their beds on the landing and Percy was outside.

One other amusing thing happened when I got back from school. Rich is still off school. And sometimes he drives me nuts with his inability to shut doors properly. I came back upstairs, to find him having left the room, the door open, and Gollum, Carrie and Fluffy peering in at the babies. I was happy to see that Lil was not bothered in the slightest by them being there. But I do not want them drinking her milk, and if the big ones try to settle in the kitten box, the babies will have no room!

I couldn't find G, so I asked Rich to find her. Turns out, she had sneaked in the kitten box with the babies. Bless her. She really wants to be with them, she is such a good aunt. But she will drink the milk!!!! So I have to keep her out for the moment.

Right, it is time to feed everyone, so I will write a short piece more, before I retire tonight.

20:17 I am still waiting to check the kittens over, it is weighing time, and eye check time, but they don't seem to stop feeding, and I am not going to pick them up while they are latched on. Lil has become so devoted, that she barely leaves the room, she will hover at the door, and then run back to the box where her babies are. Such loyalty is so touching to see.

I managed to weigh them eventually, and wash their little faces. They don't squeal too much, and Lil sits and watches while I do it. That always touches me. Lady G came into the room, and I let her wander into the box, she gave the babies a little sniff, and a little clean, kissed her mum, and then I let her wander back out, that was sooo sweet.

Apart from all this, mum has stayed tonight, and I love my mum, so I have just tucked her into bed too. Richard has been difficult, I don't know why, and I have just put Tim to bed in my bed, as he was in floods of tears. I am not sure why yet. But I suspect it is because he has to do hockey at school soon, and as he only has one hand, this seems to be bothering him. We'll see how he goes over the next couple of days.

So, as I sign off, I have come down to the lounge, Tim is in with Lil, Percy is out, and the other 4 are milling around the hallway!

I wish you all a good night, I suspect I wont have one, as it looks like I am back on the floor!!!

Sunday 11th February
Sunday night, and my babies are almost a week old. I have to be honest, and say that I am truly grateful, to be a week down the line, and still have these 5 babies with me, and Lily looking so healthy and content. It has not been an easy week, and I have rarely been outside this room.

But I also have to look at what has been good about the time that I have spent here. I have had some very special and valuable time with my lovely Lily, I love that little girl heaps and heaps. And I have also spend some special times with my 2 boys. It has been really nice having around me, lots of hugs, and not a stern word having to be spoken to either of them. I am really pleased I have been able to give them this experience.

Now the kittens. I am happy with their weights, they have all pretty much doubled their birth weight, and that is a relief. They are starting to look nice and plump and pink, with their bellies full of milk. I am loving picking them up, and Lil is more than happy for me to help her look after them.

There is defintely 1 boy, he is the largest of the litter. And defintely 1 little girl. The other 3 I am not too sure about. I also noticed some darkening of the ears today, so maybe I do have some chocolate amongst this litter. I am looking for some little stripe tails, but none noticed so far.

Tonight, I aim to get back into my bed!!!! It's so close to the box anyway, so I am sure Lil will be fine and settle. I would like to write more, but they are at the stage where they just eat and sleep, and squeak. Especially when Lil rearranges herself in the box, and sits on half of them!!!I can tell by the sound of the squealing if she has sat on them or not!!! It makes me smile, as she looks at me in bemusement, as she hasn't a clue why they are swearing at her to get up!!!

As I sign of for now, there is lots of squealing coming from the box, as she is giving them a good wash, nothing changes, as my youngest son is also squealing in protest as he does not want a shower!!!

These babies are lucky babies, as they have the same lovely daddy as Gollum and Carrie. We had some super temperaments from the babies that he gave us, with Lily's daughter, Lady G, this time last year. And, the biggest coincidence of it all, is that this little lot were born on exactly the same date, one year later!!!!!! Please click on this link to see his details. He is a lovely boy, with a sweet nature, and Lily really enjoyed her stay with him http://www.malikasiam.co.uk/11solomon.htm

Saturday 10th February
It's Saturday morning, and I think I have been swept by a tide of emotions this morning. I have spend just about all my time, for the past week, in this room, with Lil and the kittens. I have not left the house, apart from a couple of trips into the garden to see to bunny.

I think I have been so intense because of the way the birth went. Having lost 2 kittens at the birth, and the fact that some of these babies were very small when I brought them home from the vets, terrified me. I was so very determined NOT to lose another, that I set up the vigil with Lily. Although this was necessary, because she would not sit with them, unless I was very close.

She has settled down nicely now. I am slowly being able to come and go, and she is not so bothered. She asks to leave the room to toilet,( she wont use the litter tray in here) and then runs straight back here to her babies, only leaving them for as long as she needs to. I went out for a while this afternoon, and the boys stayed in here. She was totally fine, and they were all snuggled up when I got back ( yes, the boys too, in my sleeping bags!)

The intensity of emotions this week, has left me totally drained though. Last night I slept little. Too many thoughts buzzing around in my head, and these babies are getting mobile.

I am sure they spent the night waddling around the box, this upsets Lil, as she likes them nice a quiet........she is grumbling and asking me to help her out, they are squeaking and waddling everywhere.

Then, just to top it all, Rich had left his i pod and mobile phone in here, both with alarms set. One at 06:30 and the other ay 07:00. Tim was sleeping in here with me, and we both swore........

Bless Timothy, he told me that he wasn't tired, and told me to get into the bed, and he was going to sit by Lil.

Golly, did that feel good to grab an hours sleep.

I confess, that when Rich came in a bit later, He sat on the bed, gave me a hug, and I shed a few tears. He told me to stay in bed all day!!!

What would I do without Rich and Tim. So I have had lots of hugs from them this morning. Apart from my cats, they are the most important things in my life, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them.

I just had a love cuddle from Gollum.

I love my cats, no matter what I do, no matter if I get things wrong, they never get cross with me, never hold a grudge, always have a purr and cuddle and love me because I am me.

I was very pleased with their weights this morning, they had done well over night. They seem to have got themselves into a routine with feeding and using the milk bar. We have, 140g, 138g,110g,108g and 106g. I have not weighed them this evening, but I would expect them to have put a reasonable amount of grams by the time that I weigh them again later.

I am starting to look more closely at their sexes, and there do seem to be a few girls in this litter. Their colours are all looking quite pale at the moment, so I am still doubtful of any little chocolates. Normally I would have taken much more time observing them. But this time, because of the events on Monday, and Lil taking longer to settle, I just wanted to concentrate on getting them settled and feeding. The sexes and colours will wait!

Fingers crossed for a better nights sleep tonight!

Wednesday afternoon 7th February
I am so pleased that Lily has bonded really well with her babies now. She does want to go out of the room, and have a run around, but not for long. As soon as I call her, she runs back upstairs with me, and comes straight back into her box. It is such a good feeling to see her settled with these babies . Her milk has not come in yet, hopefully tomorrow, and then she should become even more settled.

However, I am worried, as 2 of the babies are quite small, smaller than I am happy with. I have been topping up their feeds, and keeping a constant vigil by the box, and wherever possible trying to see them latch on. There are 2 bigger ones in the litter, one looks like a male ( I confess, that I have not really looked too closely for sexes at the moment), and they fight hard to get the favourite nipple. Richard had them out on his hand earlier, while letting the smaller ones suckle, and I was impressed that they just sat quietly in his hand, they seemed quite content. It is difficult this part of their development, because they are still so very small, and they still have a long way to go before I can start to relax about them. I think tonight, it is beginning to wear me down a little emotionally, when you are here all day, the emotional experience is very intense. Lily likes to know where I am, and seeks me out for reassurance, she is happiest when I am sat here next to the box. She is also happy if Tim is sat here by her, Tim has a very calming presence about him when he is with the kittens, and it is such a relief for me, to be able to know that he can sit here with them if I need a break. It will be such a relief when we reach the one week stage.

I have just weighed them all, before bed, while changing their vet bedding. It is pleasing to see that all of them have put on weight, some more than others, but upwards is better than downwards. I am now deliberating whether to top them up before I attempt some sleep. You have to laugh, as I typed the above, they were all latched on nicely, and then Lil decided to move, babies get knocked off....lots of squealing, I have to encourage Lil to spread out again, and now they are all trying to re position themselves. It is this that wakes me up in the night time.

But Lil is still very dependent on my being around. If the boys are in the room, she will stay, for a while. If she comes out of the room with me, and I come back in without her, she wants back in. It is lovely to be so very loved, but over the next few days, I am going to have to start to let her be more independent, as next week, I do not have help, and I will have to leave the house for school runs etc. I am confident by then, that she will be ok. I think she is extra clingy, because of the way the birth happened.

The babies are beautiful, Lil is beautiful, I am tired, but I am happy. I know how blessed I am, with 2 lovely boys, both of whom have been so sweet since Monday, with lots of hugs for mum, and some very beautiful cats to share my life with. As I think I have said before, money cannot buy that kind of love and devotion.

Wednesday 7th February
I have not written before now, because things did not go quite to plan, and I was totally shattered, Last night I just could not face anything, I just wanted to curl up, by Lil and the kittens, and to be honest, that was all I wanted to do, until the middle of this afternoon, which was day 2. I felt tired, and emotionally drained. But also, Lil would not sit with babies, if I was not lying there, with my head in view, and often arms cuddling her in her box. If I was not there, she would not stay with babies. But I must start at the beginning.

Monday morning, I was really not expecting babies until Wednesday, if I am honest. Lily has always been late with her babies. So at 07:45 when I noticed a streak of bloody mucus across her face, alarm bells began to ring. I was still in my shorts and t shirt that I wear in bed, I had neither eaten nor drunk anything at this stage, and was trying to get the kids ready for school. Fortuately I had arranged for their dad to be here, so that I did not have to drive them to school. Otherwise, neither of them would have gone in on Monday.

I made sure the boys had everything that they needed for school, and headed upstairs with Lil. I was hoping things were going to go smoothly, because I had neither washed, dressed, or done anything for myself. Lily started her contractions, just as she has in previous pregnancies, so I was hopeful for baby no 1 within at least 2 hours. Unfortunately things did not happen that way.

To start with, Lil was happy to lay in her box, while I rubbed her tummy, and reassured her. I was kneeling over the box, the whole time, a design fault that will have to be changed!!! So my legs are aching a lot today. She started to get really agitated, and we went through the normal routine where she went in and out of the litter tray, as she thought the pushing sensation meant she needed the toilet. I managed to get her to relax again, this was after about 2 hours now. And felt relieved, as I saw the sack for baby no 1 arriving, and I thought we were nearly there.......... Lil bent down to clean it, and with the action, the sack went back inside her body. After this, she became really really agitated.

I tried to reassure and calm her, but I felt I was not achieving too much. Her contractions then stopped, and after an hour, I realised that I needed to do something. I rang Gill Watson, she is the owner of the daddy to these babies, and a great help to me. She told me what I already suspected, that I needed to ring the vets. By this stage, I was shaking quite badly, and I felt tears were on the verge of coming out. So I took a deep breath, and rang the vets. They told me to take her straight down.

I hastily dressed, put on some darkish sunglasses, as I did not trust myself with the tears. I was shaking badly by this point. I just wanted every other car on the road to get out of the way.

The vet took us through and examined Lil. She told me what I suspected would be the case, she needed an injection of Oxytocin, to help start her labour again. I was told to leave her at the vets, and they would ring me as things happened. That was hard. I did not want to leave her, as she needed me to be close. But I had no choice. It was a tearful me that left the surgery. But I took the sensible route and had a shower, which helped to clear my mind. As soon as I had finished the vet rang me.

They said that Lil had delivered the first baby, but unfortunately it has not survived. That was not a good feeling, and by now, I was feeling quite numb. The next phone call, said she had delivered another baby, and this one was ok. I was told to wait an hour before ringing again. But as I had to go collect the boys from school, I actually went into the vets. They took me through to see Lil. She had 3 live babies, but sadly, had lost a second. This was so very sad, and I felt dreadful as I drove to collect the boys from school. The first thing the boys asked me, when I collected them, was how many kittens and how was Lil, which meant I had to give them the sad news.

We then made our way to the vets to collect Lily, and what we thought was 3 kittens. When we went in, we were greeted by lots of nurses. I was then told, and this was totally unexpected, that Lil now had 5 kittens!This took me so much by surprise, and I did lose my self control at this point, and felt the tears prickling my eyes. My dear, darling Lil, and she had had to go through all this without me. I confess I gave one of the nurses a big tearful hug, I just couldn't believe it when he told me she now had 5. Poor darling Lil, she has delivered 7 babies, lost 2 of them, and has 5, and she had to do all that without me.

We transferred them all into our large basket, amidst lots of thankyous to everyone for looking after them, and then we were off back home.

I am going to summarise now, for Tuesday and Monday night.

Lil took a while to settle with these babies, which surprised me, as the one thing she has always been good at, is bonding with her litters. But she did not want to settle in this room with the kittens. This is a horrible feeling, because you know that she must sit with them.

I resorted to laying on the floor, next to her box, on Monday night, often with my head in the box. She, bless her, purred, and washed my face for me! And as long as I stayed like that, she stayed with the babies.

I had a cold and uncomfy night, and a hungry one, as I realised that I had not got round to eating during the day! And when I woke up on Tuesday morning, it was a case of crawling off the floor, getting the children ready for school, and sending them off with their dad. I spent the rest of the day, until the boys came home from school, laying here with Lily, encouraging her to stay with babies. This seemed to pay off, and by the evening, I would say that she was much more comfortable and settled.

I had a sleepless night though. The kittens were squeaking lots, she kept feeding them and washing them, and they were active little things, fighting over the nipples!! They certainly have plenty of spirit in them! Timothy, must have a mention, when he has been here, he has amazing patience, and has spent a lot of time, sitting with them and making sure that they are latched on.

lily is with them at the moment, giving them a good wash, and they are protesting with the little squeaks that kittens have, I am sat next to her, with News 24 on the television. I find that at this stage of having kittens, 24 hours news is invaluable, as it keeps my mind awake, and the noise in the background, helps to block out the sound of the other 4 cats, leaping around on the landing outside my room. I want her to stay settled, so if she cannot hear them, it helps. I hope I am not driving my neighbours nuts by having it on all the time. But it is only for a short period of time.

I will sign off for now, tomorrow I hopefully will get back into the routine of normal daily entries. I am attaching a few photos, but I can only send a few across. My internet connection is a bit erratic at the moment, and it is proving difficult to mail larger files across. By the weekend the problem should be rectified.